The Beginners Guide to Meditation
Meditation doesn’t need be perfect!
When we think about meditation, often we think about a lone person, sitting in a quiet place, looking serene and at peace, eyes closed and legs in the lotus position, hands or elbows balanced on their knees. It looks idyllic, and yet that picture is overwhelming, isn’t it? Who has time to find a quiet and beautiful place,? And we think there is no way we could sit and not have any thoughts, quieting our brain is to daunting of a task, at least it can feel that way. And to do it for a long period of time? No way! Right?
The thing is, meditation doesn’t have to be like that to work. The most common misconception about meditation that I have come across is that you can’t have any thoughts at all.. That simply isn’t true. Our brains are designed to think, to have thoughts, it is incredibly hard to turn that off. It is okay to have those thoughts, the trick is to notice them and then let them float away. Go back to what you are concentrating on, whatever that happens to be. I usually recommend clients to focus on a picture of the sky. Our thoughts are the clouds that float in the sky. When we notice it is there, picture it floating out of sight, then go back to focusing on the sky, not the cloud. For clients that can’t pull up an image to focus on, I suggest finding a peaceful sound either around you or with it playing on a device to focus on. Thoughts are the lyrics to the sound, let them come in, and then go back to focusing on the sound.
The other common misconception I come across a lot is the amount of time. We are all busy, fitting in something else that takes a big chunk of time is just too much. Guess what? Meditation can be just a minute or two. Of course, the longer you do it the more positive effects you will have. However, you can’t complete a marathon without ever have done any kind of running or distance walking before, right? Same thing here, start small and work your way up, if you want to put more time in. Start with 2 minutes, see how that goes for a while, we can all find 2 minutes. I know several busy people who take the two minutes while they are in the bathroom, or when they get in the car before their daily drive to work. It is best to do it at a time where you are feeling the most at peace if possible, however that isn’t mandatory. For some it’s in the morning before the day starts, for others it is when they get home before starting dinner, etc. For others it is at bedtime. Whatever works for you works for meditation. May be helpful to try different times throughout the day to see what does work best for you.
So go ahead, pick a time to take two minutes for yourself.
When that time comes, try to find somewhere quiet. If you like, set a timer for 2 minutes to start, preferably change the alert to something peaceful like wind chimes instead of something blaring.
Sit or lay in a comfortable position, although I don’t recommend laying down if you are sleepy, as you might fall asleep. Maybe get a cushion or two to make it more comfortable. Sitting with your back straight and shoulders relaxed is nice, but again, it isn’t required, that can come later with time and practice.
Close your eyes, relax your face and body if you can. Then take a deep, slow breath in, and then let it out slowly. You often hear to breathe through your nose and out your mouth, that isn’t really as important as being mindful of your breathing, do what works for you. Do this a couple of times. Remember the picture of the sky? This is the time to picture it, or whatever other peaceful picture you prefer. Focus on a color, like the blue of the sky, or any dominant and peaceful color in your picture. If you can’t picture something, focusing on a peaceful sound can do the trick as well. When a thought comes up, notice it and then let it float away, going back to focusing on the color in the picture. Don’t fight the thoughts, don’t get discouraged by them, they are going to come.
When ready, or when the timer goes off, take a couple more deep breaths, paying attention to the breathing. Then smile, and open your eyes. I always encourage the smile, it is a conscious decision to try and be in a more positive space and mood. And it associates happiness with the meditation.
There, you did it! And it only took a couple of minutes! How did it go? Well? Great! Then keep at it, try to do it 3-5 times a week to start for a couple of minutes, then build from there. There is no specific time frame to get to, just do what works for you!! Not well? That is OKAY!! Keep trying, you aren’t supposed to be great at things you are doing for the first time! It takes practice, that is normal and totally okay. Try to not put pressure on yourself, this is a time to relax, not time to criticize yourself. There are so many ways to do meditation, and there are so many benefits to it, just keep at it, you will get it if you keep trying!
